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That's When The Panic Sets In

by ROE

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1.
I’ll be waking up early to find myself something to do That doesn’t revolve around you Outside, hop in the car, it’s not normal at all To be sat here on my own I’ll go out to have breakfast so I don’t get sick of the view It always reminds me of you Maybe finish the album I’m working on flat out to feel Like I’m still a reason I am still trying Though it looks like I might be on my way And I am done crying over you I’ll go 48 hours without staying inside my house Trying to figure it out How to sleep in my bed without you On the edge of the mattress holding tight Go for walks in the evening to clear out the feelings I have The only solution I’ve found Get myself back together Up from the gutter I’ve finally found my reason for it I am still trying Though it looks like I might be on my way And I am done crying over you I used to love you in the worst way But now I’m moving on to better things without you Made me believe that I had everything It took a lot of motivation to forget that If I could Draw the line Change the way you made me feel About us Maybe then I would learn how To take back the pieces you stole I’ll be waking up early to find myself Something to do That doesn’t revolve around you Outside, hop in the car It’s not normal at all To be sat here on my own I am still trying Though it looks like I might be on my way And I am done crying over you
2.
I Dare You 02:53
Slow down We don’t wanna get caught out And I’m already checked out From 100 miles back I’m relying on you Relying Real tough so far It’s been a long day I just wanna get home and watch the television I don’t care if it’s something different I dare you to shout out loud Get up and just scream like mad And you can be angry if you want to You can be angry if it feels good Headlights Wake me up from looking inside You’re still dead but we’re not home yet With the windows down I’m relying on you Relying One stop We get out so we can stand up And we don’t talk but we say it all with our silence You know that we can do this I dare you to shout out loud Get up and just scream like mad And you can be angry if you want to You can be angry if it feels good I dare you to shout out loud Get up and just scream like mad And you can be angry if you want to You can be angry if it feels good You can be angry if it makes you feel better When you get upset Say what you don’t mean Just to feel something I don’t mind We can just forget Like this never happened If that’s how we deal with the long drives Passing the street lights We’re on the exit to Belfast We’ll do whatever it takes to see this through I dare you to shout out loud Get up and just scream like mad And you can be angry if you want to You can be angry if it feels good I dare you to shout out loud Get up and just scream like mad And you can be angry if you want to You can be angry if it feels good You can be angry if it makes you feel better
3.
I hate to see you so broken How do I make you feel whole again The weight of the world on your shoulders But this is just a temporary thing You taught me how to be patient As I ran head first for the door You pulled me back and said that time is a healer We take the bad and keep our faith in what’s to come Down the road we face many demons But we don’t have to face them all alone You were there when I needed Someone to lean on Let me be the one to guide us home You try to hide that you’re hurting Rush off to work in the morning The smoke still lingers in the kitchen We say our goodbyes from a distance today All the right words don’t come easy And these conversations always get the best of me I’m useless but I’ll always hear you I’ll wait if you need me to And down the road we face many demons But we don’t have to face them all alone You were there when I needed Someone to lean on Let me be the one to guide us home We are home We are home We are home We are home And down the road we face many demons But we don’t have to face them all alone You were there when I needed Someone to lean on Let me be the one to guide us home Won’t you let me be the one to guide us home Won’t you let me be the one to guide us home
4.
I Can Change 02:43
I’ve always had a lot of problems with listening You can try repeating but I won’t ever take it in I’m a nightmare But you can’t blame me for trying Left on the heating after leaving for hours And I keep spilling food I wanna eat Down the sofa Do I belong here When my head’s wandering out there? It’s the same old story, different day I still tell myself I can change, I can change When it gets too boring I count the ways that I convince myself I can change, I can change I can change, I can change I can change, I can change I fall asleep whenever I drink a little too much I get the fear I think I’ve said something stupid I’m a disaster Why do I even leave the house for? I could write a book about The things I’ve regretted I’ve told a lot of stories that I really Have shouldn’t But what’s the point of living If you don’t mess up at all? It’s the same old story, different day I still tell myself I can change, I can change When it gets too boring I count the ways that I convince myself I can change, I can change I can change, I can change I can change, I can change Remember how it used to Be so normal to accept who we really were Whatever happened to that? I can’t find what makes me feel Like I know what I’m doing If only it was that easy To really believe that my ghosts are behind me Why is this so hard? It shouldn’t phase me But I’ve been hating myself lately It’s the same old story, different day I still tell myself I can change, I can change I can change, I can change I can change, I can change I can change, I can change I can change, I can change
5.
I’ve been meaning to read more With my head in a book I wouldn’t have to think about it Something I never act upon Instead I’ll watch a video Funny how it shows When I’m struggling in the real world now And I can’t come down to say hello I must’ve got away from my good Intentions ‘Cause I can’t focus on anything at all And isn’t it strange To be standing right there but so far away I’m not scared of being lonely Being lonely no I can’t be the only one up here I can’t be the only one up here I can’t be the only one only I can’t be the only one up here I can’t be the only one Conversations I’ve been to Don’t make a whole lot of sense When I’ve been known to forget And if my life was a tv show There would never be an ending Not one to remember I’m struggling in the real world now And I can’t come down Cut to the bone I must’ve got away From my good intentions ‘Cause I can’t focus on anything at all And isn’t it strange To be standing right there but so far away I’m not scared of being lonely Being lonely no I can’t be the only one up here I can’t be the only one up here I can’t be the only one only I can’t be the only one up here I can’t be the only one So convince me that it’s just a phase But you don’t look at me the same way Such a problem to be reckoned with I know that love has been lost on us And maybe it was always my fault That we kept picking up at the same part And maybe it’s not what you imagined This to be Isn’t it strange To be standing right there but so far away I’m not scared of being lonely Being lonely no I can’t be the only one I can’t be the only one up here I can’t be the only one only I can’t be the only one up here I can’t be the only one
6.
So far removed From the space I occupy From the life I thought I had To what I have become And I’ve given my time Gave up all of my nights To wondering why I am here Why am I here? If I’m replaceable Then why should I carry on pretending Like I’m the one out of a million In your eyes? And if I should be alone Why does it feel as if I'm helpless? All of the love that I’ve been given Is never enough To show me who I am Show me who I am I’ve been looking for guidelines Give me a sign that I’m breathing Might stand a chance if I’m dreaming Might but there’s nothing to see here And I’ve been walking in circles To maybe find where I came from Just to have known I was someone Know that I am someone And if I'm replaceable Then why should I carry on pretending Like I’m the one out of a million In your eyes? And if I should be alone Why does it feel as if I’m helpless? All of the love that I’ve been given Is never enough To show me who I am Show me who I am This burden feels so heavy And the weight’s breaking My body down I can’t seem to find the way out What if this is all that I am? And if I'm replaceable Then why should I carry on pretending Like I’m the one out of a million In your eyes? And if I should be alone Why does it feel as if I’m helpless? All of the love that I’ve been given is never enough If I should be alone Why does it feel as if I’m helpless? All of the love that I’ve been given is never enough To show me who I am Show me who I am Show me who I am
7.
Cold Feet 04:13
I have irrational fears Of somebody watching from the other room Showing me all the things I shouldn’t do Feeding me lies, lies, lies If I had a back bone in my body Then maybe I would listen to the people around me Instead of hoping that I’ll get it right Instead of running out of time I guess I get cold feet I don’t trust my own instincts anymore Been scarred by the outcome Of letting too much of myself go Oooooo And I can’t get my head above the water to tell you how I’m sinking even further than let I on I have irrational fears That I’m only pretending To be who I am Holding the place until I’m moved along I’ve been keeping the bed warm Going through the motions Is this what Everyone was talking To me about I don’t know the difference between love And sacrifice I guess I get cold feet I don’t trust my own instincts anymore Been scarred by the outcome Of letting too much of myself go Oooooo And I can’t get my head above the water to tell you How I’m sinking even further than I let on I’m drowning Oooooo And I can’t get my head above the water to tell you How I’m sinking even further than I let on I’ve been losing faith for some time now Maybe that’s just how we move on Scraping at the barrel to get by Anything to feel alive I guess I get cold feet I don’t trust my own instincts anymore Been scarred by the outcome Of letting too much of myself go Oooooo And I can’t get my head above the water to tell you how I’m sinking even further than let on I’m drowning Oooooo And I can’t get my head above the water to tell you How I’m sinking even further than I let on
8.
Losing Sleep 03:30
I can’t live in a world Where I have to explain My every action For your satisfaction I’m not built for it I can’t stand the judgement Of living every day in here We grew up watching TVs And going out to big screens But who would have thought that The world outside was ending I fell for it Like you the way you did And we can’t change that now I can’t go on like this Shake it off like you do When I’m losing sleep Too tired to be a part of it What’s the point of loneliness When I’m losing sleep? What's it all for? I’m a liar if I said I wasn’t here before Still not finding many answers To why I feel so small I've had my share of nightmares Terrified that I’m in the real world now Grasping at the moments Silly to be hoping When they won’t come back I can’t go on like this Shake it off like you do When I’m losing sleep Too tired to be a part of it What’s the point of loneliness When I’m losing sleep? I can’t go on like this Shake it off like you do When I’m losing sleep Too tired to be a part of it Why am I still questioning When I’m losing sleep? I’d take the ignorance any day But I am unable to let it lie Caught between the conscious of living and my bed I don’t seem recognise You’ve been searching for the light switch To shut out the dark But I don’t think I could try to tell you how scared I really am I can’t go on like this Shake it off like you do When I’m losing sleep Too tired to be a part of it What’s the point of loneliness When I’m losing sleep? I can’t go on like this Shake it off like you do When I’m losing sleep Too tired to be a part of it Why am I still questioning When I’m losing sleep?
9.
In The End 03:21
Everything is different But I wear the same face These skies are turning greyer Every second that you’re away And I’m often looking backwards Just to brighten up the days But these changes are inevitable So I’ll be brave For you I would walk beyond The furthest breach To be right by your side Until the end is near For you For you It’s unintentional but I’ve been drifting off Out of sight, out of mind Doesn’t phase this train of thought I’m losing my sense of every Comfort I had left And even though I’m helpless I hope that you’re still there For you I would walk beyond The furthest breach To be right by your side Until the end is near For you For you For you For you (I’m not ready to get over you) I’m not ready To get over you Although it might be time To say goodbye It’s killing me to see it through I’m unsteady When I think of losing Every moment that we’ve had I can’t surrender to anyone For you I’d give anything to be By your side For you For you For you For you
10.
I only wanted to let go You’re never happy with leaving anything unsaid We went out in the thunder Terrified that the roof was caving On our heads I get the feeling I am not in something real anymore I can’t find the reason why So what are you waiting for? Why pretend when it’s already over? Kidding yourself Thinking that this was forever Love is such a devotion The greatest high that I’ve fallen Back down from Too afraid if I let go That I won’t find you again In this lifetime I get the feeling I get the feeling I am not in something real anymore I can’t find the reason why So what are you waiting for? Why pretend when it’s already over? Kidding yourself Thinking that this was forever What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? I only wanted to let go I never thought of the damage I would leave behind If I could I would turn back the time But I know that it wouldn’t Change anything
11.
Cut My Teeth 04:10
Some day I’ll build a home That’ll fill me with pride And I’ll no longer wonder What lies beyond Until then I’ll be out Playing against the odds Surviving the circumstances Of how I managed to live this long Only six feet away from Leaving early Fragile as the day we’re born Purpose on the hallowed ground That we’ve built upon And so I stay My fists full of broken glass Haunted by the ghosts of my Suppressed thoughts Driven by the sound I cut my teeth Learning to heal from The damage I knew to be normal Lifted the pit from my stomach When I took a turn for the worse A while back Only six feet away from Leaving early Fragile as the day we’re born Purpose on the hallowed ground That we’ve built upon Only six feet away From losing everything We remain as the strongest souls In the face of the great unknown We trust that where there’s life We will find our hope Oooooo (x4) Only six feet away from Leaving early Fragile as the day we’re born Purpose on the hallowed ground That we’ve built upon Only six feet away From losing everything We remain as the strongest souls In the face of the great unknown We trust that where there’s life We will find our hope Some day I’ll build a home That’ll fill me with pride And I’ll no longer wonder what lies beyond
12.
Alarms 04:36
Life’s been getting heavy I’ve been getting up later in the day Not because I want to But these alarms don’t seem to work The same as they used to God I’m so tired of hearing My own voice That’s when The panic starts to settle in And I’ll do my best But I’m so full of empty promises What a letdown Thought I’d have kicked it by now Instead of Clinging on for dear life I’ll be waiting up until I’m not Another letdown But that day never arrives I thought I’d go outside today But my bed had other ideas Forgot to change my clothes this week Tomorrow I swear that I’ll do it I’ll be constant For now I’m a number that no-one will ever reach That’s when The panic starts to settle in And I’ll do my best But I’m so full of empty promises What a letdown Thought I’d have kicked it by now Instead of Clinging on for dear life I’ll be waiting up until I’m not Another letdown But that day never arrives I can’t help it If I disappoint you I’m working on a turning point (x4) So I won’t be a letdown anymore I thought I’d have kicked it by now Instead of Clinging on for dear life I’ll be waiting up until I’m not Another letdown But that day never arrives

credits

released September 23, 2022

Written by Roisin Donald
Produced by Tommy McLaughlin and Liam Craig

Roisin Donald - Vocals, Guitars, Piano

Jay Dickson - Drums
Liam Craig - Bass, Guitars
Tommy McLaughlin - Guitars, Programming
Dominic O'Callaghan - Piano, Rhodes

Bryan Morgan - Trumpet
Michael Barkley - Additional Brass

Additional Vocals - Ethan Diver, Stephen McCool, Rosa Walsh

Laura McFadden - Cello
Niamh McGowan - Violin
Maebh Martin - Violin
Coleen McMullan - Viola

Cover Photography by Megan Doherty

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ROE Londonderry, UK

Alt-pop weirdo from Derry.

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